January 3, 2008

TODAY and yesterday.

The losar was spent in Thimphu. Had gone there to meet a friend, someone special whom I had met just four days ago, in phuntsholing.
De Elle is what I call her. And I think I am falling in love with her. Meeting her for the first time, being introduced by a mutual friend, and I lost my heart.
I am always like that. I and out of relationships. All my brothers and sisters are married, have kids. Even my younger sister.
But me, I am always out there, looking for the perfect girl. I thought I had one.(refer to my love letter)
I have someone, but she is always away from me, on one pretext or the other. I  sometimes feel that the divine hand is always partial to me.  Why can't two people  who are in love be with each other? Why is there restrictions in life? To find the answers I try to pray, I try to meditate, but I can't. There is no answer. KK will have to suffer the pangs of solitude, the fear of society.
What was I talking about? Yes, about Losar. Went to thimphu to meet De Elle but she had left for Dechenphug with her parents. So I returned to Paro, and went to Shari Club.
Three of us, Me, Kinley and Tshering Lham. Kinley and Tshering on the floor, me alone trying to strike conversation with a lady seated to my right. She is not even looking at me.
Dumbass!! I try again and again I fail. I grab a foster and try to act cool.
I am NOT cool. I am sweating in a Club, sitting down while everyonelse is enjoying. I am NOT cool. Then I try my hand at dancing. I join Kinley and Tshering on the floor. Two girls are on my left swaying to the beat of Beautiful Girl. I again try acting cool. I take out a cigarette and light it. Now I have a cigarette and a foster, and I am on the floor, dancing. I am eyeing one of the girls. Suddenly she espys me. She comes to me and says, " Can I have the cigarette.."
I am nodding like a fool. She takes MY cigarette and claims it for herself. She doesn't  even look at me.
FOOL! I have been made a fool.
I get off the dance floor and resume my seat. Tshering has already left with a friend. Kinley is speaking to ?? the same lady who hadn't given a damn to me??YES, he is!!
Then Kinley introduces her to me and she introduces her sisters to us. They have come form Thimphu.
Kinley has already asked for her number.
Then suddenly there is the sound of breaking glasses. There is a fight breakingout.
Music stops, DJ wishes us Goodnight (It should have been good morning), and the girls go home.
Me and Kinley...back to our cold dorm.
TODAY.
That lady (Tshering Lhamo) has given 7 missed calls to Kinley. Me? I just called De Elle.