August 19, 2010

Of Relationships Long Gone...

There are certain things that are to be expected in any relationship, even after they have ended. But I had never expected to feel the same. Would she have been the same had she married me? Would she still have the same happiness that I see in her? Or is that a tinge of regret I see in her eyes? The twinkle in her eyes is genuine when she talks about her daughters. I can feel her nervousness when we talk. No wonder she doesn't face me as we talk about what went wrong in our relationship. Or is it me imagining? Is it me regretting? After all I was the one who didn't want to continue our relationship.

I feel at ease now that she has forgiven me. But has she? Those eyes still have their power over me. I have to use all my willpower to look away. After all she is happily married. Or is she? Then why would she come to meet me? Why would she forgive me now?
Seven years ago I had asked for her forgiveness and it had all been in vain. Why now? Does it mean that she now has the capacity to understand the situation? Or is it that she is matured enough to forget the past? For me my days with her have made me into who I am. I know more about relationships, and their ups and downs.

I don't want to dwell on the past because 'the past is a foreign land, they do things differently there' or is it?