June 9, 2015

Holiday Blues

Staying inside the house for the whole day, makes me feel cooped up. So I come for a ride.
No one else. Just myself, and my thoughts.

I feel the cool breeze caress my cheeks, bringing promises for a better tomorrow.
Because thought today is good,  it could certainly do with some upgrades.

I have stopped my car by the roadside, and I sit leaning against it, overlooking the lush pine valley. The pine trees sway gently in the breeze; and I am reminded of myself…swaying here and there, to keep everybody happy. But can I? Am I?

Some of my pre-sleep thoughts are about death, (and what would happen to me…how I would feel.) on my death bed.
Would I have loads of regrets, or a smile of satisfaction?

On days like this I miss my motorcycle.

But I come here, outside my home, out in the open, and try to write something, anything. But my thoughts are all jumbled. They are hard to separate. Everything is mixed. All my feelings are mixed.
[Red shoes ...contemplation.]

Perhaps, dozing in front of the TV (my initial plan for the day) doesn’t seem too bad either. I could go back home, and sleep. Or…I could call on some friends and just chat. Or…I could… (so many ‘I coulds’).

Sundays (and holidays) are my best and worst times. How I wish there was a place where I could visit, something like a backup plan.